Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
