But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
