This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
