I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
