If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
