She said her name was "party"
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize