worst night to have a conscience
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
