My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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