I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And then he peed in my hair
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