My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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