If i come over, it means nothing
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
