Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
