i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize