the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
