Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
