Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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