the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize