Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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