I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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