she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
