too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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