video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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