I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
