people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
