You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That accounts for only three of the penises
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
