so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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