And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
