And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
