So gin and wine won't be happening again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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