I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
