she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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