guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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