Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
