but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
