Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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