the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
