At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
