At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
