Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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