he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
