Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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