carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
