My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
