just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I need water and some morals
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
