This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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