Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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