well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
