Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
