I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
