remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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