I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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