The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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