so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize