if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
