id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize