When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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