he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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