Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
