OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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