in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
