we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
