Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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