Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
