i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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