I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
