At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize