Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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