Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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