Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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