you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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