Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
