Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Congratulations! We have a period
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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