I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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