i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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