we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
