so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
