i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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